“I’m so happy that Jesus saved me”

Dear friend,

Sometimes The Holy Spirit unexpectedly reminds me of things that I have not considered in years and one memory that he has brought to mind is a certain lady and a church service in the late ‘50’s.
In my childhood village, we had two chapels; one in the north and one in the south; each belonging to different denominations. The village people were not too concerned about denominations, so they divided their churchgoings equally between the chapels. I went to Sunday school in the chapel in the south and attended church services in the Mission House in the north. From time to time, in the Mission House there would be “revival gatherings” with “traveling pastors”, also known as evangelists.

Sometimes the pastor would invite people to come to the platform and testify about what Jesus had done in their lives. The small congregation consisting of farmers and people working in the woods or in the factory, would be rather shy. You could ask them to do almost anything, and sometimes they could do even the impossible. Nevertheless, to walk up to the platform—well, such spontaneous invitations could cause the congregation to look like a wheat field in a storm. Everybody was looking at each other; pushing an elbow in the side of the neighbor sitting next to them, attempting to encourage him or her to step forward to that intimidating platform.

Of course, they could all testify about God’s grace and mercy; like when the cows had fallen ill or when the frost almost ruined all the harvest or when one man drove his tractor into the river and almost drowned or when a farmer’s wife got cancer and lived with it until old age! Oh, how God provided for them in all circumstances and how they could thank God every evening for yet another day in his care. But that platform--that was a scary place! For those country people, the pastor was welcome to have it all by himself!

However, on this particular winter’s night, there was this little lady in the chapel. If nobody else would step forward, you could always count on her. She had a slim figure; grey hair held up with combs that were in fashion during the ‘40’s and in the winter she was always dressed in a black coat and a tiny black hat and a black handbag firmly held on her left arm. In the summer, she wore a lighter version of the same outfit. She lived in her own house together with her son who was almost deaf because of a sickness in his childhood. I do not recall what she did for a living but I think she was a seamstress. I do not know anything about her life except that she was a widow and that she had always been a faithful member of the Mission House.

Every time this lady stepped up onto the platform, you could be sure to hear these words in her testimony: “I’m so happy that Jesus saved me” and tears would roll down her cheeks. First, she would tell about how grateful she was that Jesus had forgiven all her sins; and then she would tell about how Jesus had helped her during the years gone by. She was confident that He would also carry her through the years she had left. When she told her stories about God’s grace in her life, it brought tears to the congregation as well since they could relate to her testimony in their own lives.

Her appearance might have been plain and fragile, but in her testimony, she was impressively strong. Today I think there are very few left who remember her, but her testimony stayed with this ten-year old girl and I would still remember it some 50 years later.

At one time, I heard somebody say about this lady: “You always know what she will say so it’s nothing new.” Maybe that person might have wanted something new, but as a child, I did not reflect much on it. However, years later, I have now come to think of the stunning fact that it is a message told for thousands of years. It is an eternal, never-ending truth from the beginning of time. It is salvation through Jesus Christ and it is still working! Isn’t that amazing?!

It still works whether or not you are rich or poor, whether you have a long impressive title or have never had a title in your life, whether you are considered a pillar of society or have reached the bottom of society. It is not about you but God’s eternal love for you. People can still be saved and their lives changed. Jesus will never be out-of-date. Jesus is the quintessence of the love letter from God to you and me; and that is we are saved by grace and we have the right to be happy about it!

The picture in this article is a picture of a painting that was hanging in the Mission House and whenever I come across that picture it reminds me of the church services in my childhood.

Sincerely yours,
Ida

Eternity in the hearts of men …

Dear Friend,
Last summer various events brought some Bible verses to the surface and thoughts about death and life (yes in that order). It lingered on my mind and ended up in this article. It’s long post so if you don’t have the time … well there is always a possibility to copy and read later when you think you have the time to sit for a few minutes to reflect with me.
Ida


The phone rang. On the other end of the line was a voice telling me that an elderly lady had been found dead in her home.
When driving to her house, suited in the countryside beside a small lake and with blue mountains gleaming in the horizon, I kept thinking of the phone call I had to make to her daughter. How do you say in a gentle way that her mother has passed away when the person is hours away and there is no way to filter the words “she is gone”.
When I entered the house I was greeted by the cat. He never was far away from the mistress of the house and he used to observe my movements whenever I visited. He sensed something wasn’t right when he was put outside with food and water not permitted to lie down beside the lady as he used to. (… and the answer to your question is: a neighbor gave him a new home)

I walked into the bedroom and there she was in her bed with her hands folded over her chest. Death had obviously tip-toed while she was sleeping and had already set its marks and as I stood by her bedside I felt the same as I would feel for a tiny baby; so fragile and so different from the lady I had chatted with many times during the summer.

There was no way to postpone the phone call and so I dialed the number. The conversation that followed was between one woman crying and one trying to comfort. But words are hard how soft ever spoken and they are not enough to ease the pain for the one who receives such a message. A woman of high social standard, position and control looses control for a moment and is brought back into the state of a child that has lost its direction and the word “fragile” enters my mind again.
More phone calls were made, arrangements were taken, and the lady was carried from her house by strangers and I locked the door behind her for the last time. A strange feeling followed me the rest of the day as if it was a mistake and I would see her again the next week.

Some time ago, through the Internet, I read a whole different story from a country far away from my part of the world; involving a young man with his whole life ahead of him; as it seems.
I don’t know anything about this man except for what has been said about him in the media. He gets praise and criticism, often from the same source, and many have their firm opinion about his looks, how he conducts himself and everybody seem to know him although I’m sure nobody does.
From what is told he grew up under ordinary circumstances but is now a man of fame and fortune. He is an actor, who has made successful appearances in dramas on TV and film, and he is also a businessman and one of the biggest stock-holders in his part of the world, which gives him the opportunity to buy whatever pleases his eyes, and yet … he is also fragile.

In a moment when his body refuses to cooperate with his ambitions and his “around the clock” work, he has to be admitted to a hospital in order to get some new strength. After a week he stands smiling in a press conference promoting his new book and I wonder what is taking place behind that bright smile and tired eyes. All attention is directed towards him and I can tell he is really focused to hold everything together in that moment. Later in an interview he says that although he has everything something is missing. And so he gives some examples of what he is lacking but words from Jesus to another young man in another time comes to my mind. A young man who asked how to achieve just one more thing … eternal life.

This is two different faiths of life but the anonymous old lady and the rich and famous young man have more in common than we might think..

My "encounter" with them brought these Bible verses to mind.
The word of God says in Ecclesiastes 12
… Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say “I find no pleasure in them …
Remember him before the silver cord is severed or the golden bowl is broken;
before the pitcher is shattered at the spring,
or the wheel broken at the well
and the dust returns to the ground it came from
and the spirit returns to God who gave it.
… and in Psalm 139 King David is aware of the fact that
… all the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be…


… and so Moses, the mighty man of God prays in Psalm 90
… teach us to number our days aright
that we may gain a heart of wisdom …

Why?

… Ecclesiastes 3 says:
…God has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men …
… “Eternity in the hearts of men” …
God is the giver of the spirit and he has filled our spirits with a longing for - HIM. And nothing can replace that longing for HIM. Not a righteous life depending on my own actions of hard work and well behavior; not millions of dollars to secure the future; not tradition and good heritage; not rituals and self-made philosophy; or whatever can be imagined as a substitute for the only true meaning of life; Jesus. I haven’t by this said that there is something wrong with being rich and famous, being a good person and living a long life as a good citizen but the main question is this;
… if Jesus is a stranger to any of us, we have missed it all.

You may be a decent person who pay taxes and go to sleep with a satisfied conscience but without Jesus you are not holy and how do you then enter into heaven? …

Only by accepting what Jesus has already done on the cross. Accept his goodness and turn away from your own actions and turn to his. Stand before God in the name of Jesus instead of your own. If you think it sounds too easy I assure you that nothing about the cross was easy. The blood was real and the price paid was enormous. And the real name for it all is: GRACE

Jesus is the only answer to the emptiness in our souls. Nothing but the blood of Jesus will ever cover the blemishes of our lives that we try so hard to cover up and nothing but Jesus can fill the emptiness that we face without him, if we dare take a look at our lives in a moment of truth. Without Jesus; without his saving arms around our lives; without him – we have missed it all.

In Matthew 16 and Mark 8 Jesus says to his disciples:

… whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.
What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world; yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father’s glory with his holy angels.

In Mark 10 it says that Jesus looked at the young man and loved him.
“One thing you lack” Jesus said. Go sell everything you have and give to the poor and you will have a treasure in heaven. Then come follow me”

If the one thing I lack is Jesus; I’m afraid I lack it all. And whatever you and I must do in order to be able to follow him I have to tell you: it is worth it. AND it is a comfort that while we struggle with the decision, to follow him, he still loves us.
In his pleading to us to follow, there is no judgment or resentment. He tells us our story honest and gentle and he always remain trustworthy and true to us in his advice to simply follow him.
Paul reminds the reader in 1Cor. 15 about what is most important

“ Now brothers; I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise you have believed in vain.

For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures and that he appeared to Peter and then to the Twelve. After that he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time … and last of all he appeared to me also as to one abnormally born for I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called apostle; because I persecuted the church of God. But bt the GRACE of God I am what I am and his GRACE to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the GRACE of God that was with me. Whether then it was I or they; this is what we preach and this is what you believed”

About death he has also some comforting words in 1 Thess. 4
“… Brother we don’t want to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord’s own word we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God and the dead in Christ will rise first.
After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
Therefore encourage each other with these words.”

When God created man from dust he made a choice to insert something from himself into that form called man. He chose to insert the seed of choice. It is a divine seed and the Creator also chose to LOVE his creation, a creation that is able to love him back.
But the choice is ours.
Sincerely yours, Ida

“In which we now stand . . . ”

“In which we now stand . . . ”

I started to read Romans a while back and stopped to “rest” in Chapter 5. Therefore, I would like to share a "picture" from Verse 2 of Romans Chapter 5. However, this is somewhat dangerous because what I “saw” might be just for me so that I could get a deeper understanding of what I was reading. Yet, I will take that chance in hopes that some of you might “see” what I “saw”.

Romans 5:1-2
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into the grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Now follow me as I paint this “picture”:
I am walking along a road in the countryside. It’s a place dressed in its finest summer raiment. As I walk along, I reach a gate that leads into a deeper pasture with trees and extensive fields. I open the gate and, as I walk through the gate, I realize I have stepped into something. I look down and realize that I am standing in . . . GRACE.
When I look around, I see that GRACE is everywhere. There isn’t one inch that isn’t covered with GRACE. I am actually stuck in GRACE. I turn around and see a person leaning on the gate, looking at my surprised appearance and me. He does not speak but looks at me and I just know who the gate actually is and why I am stuck in GRACE.

Well … I sent this to my Jewish friend Carol, and Carol was kind enough to add to my thoughts:

“As for the gate, I believe this explains it…”No man comes unto the Father but through the Son.” What you saw in the scenery sounds so beautiful and peaceful, a resting place. You said, “I was stuck in grace” yet you were also able to turn and see the person leaning on the gate. The grace became a support to your wish to move about. And no matter if you had chosen to move forward, from side to side, or even if you chose to turn back and run to the gate I believe the grace would have expanded and you would still be in that saving grace never to go beyond our “gate keeper" Yeshua.”

Yes, GRACE is a resting place, a support, and lifesaving state to be “stuck” in and it is all because of Jesus. The Apostle Paul is saying, “in which we now stand” in contrast to where he had been standing before. He had lived an irreproachable life according to the Law, he had kept his life clean according to his tradition and he was zealous for God. Yet when he met Jesus on the road to Damascus, there was a revelation inside Paul, there was something else going on. He was fighting the GRACE itself. Paul needed to get new eyes; he needed to know about the gate and enter through it into GRACE no matter how well he had lived his life according to his beliefs.

I would say that the life of Apostle Paul took a more difficult but wonderful turn. He was just as zealous for God as before but with a different perspective. He no longer had to achieve righteousness by his own works but could live a righteous life through faith in Jesus; and, in this faith, he had a hope far better than before. He could rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.

Moreover, so can I. I tend to forget that. Rejoicing does not come easy to me and I think that is why the Holy Spirit pointed out GRACE to me in this way. I needed the reminder.
One evening when I fetched the newspaper, I noticed a piece of paper at the bottom of the mailbox. I did not have my glasses on and, had it not been for the color, I would have missed it. It was red and shaped in the form of a heart. There was something handwritten on it but I could not read it until I came inside to put on my glasses. It said:

When you realize how incredible
much God loves you
you cannot do otherwise
than live your life
spreading that love.

I have no idea who wrote it or even when it might have been placed in the mailbox. Yet, as I look at it now on my desk, I realize that I have yet to fathom the full depth of “incredible much” and all the wonder and GRACE that comes along with the love of God.
Sincerely yours, Ida

Back to reality

It has been quite a notable and "historic" weekend. We were glued to the TV on the 19th of June but now they are finally husband and wife and we can all have that big sigh of relief and go back to "business as usual". It was a beautiful wedding and may God's grace shine upon them each and every day in their life together.

Sincerely yours, Ida

Crown Princess Victoria and Prince Daniel of Sweden 19th of June 2010

BEST- For the beauty of the Earth

Letter to a Friend 1

From time to time excerpts from a correspondence with a friend will be posted here. We share different issues with each other, and she thought it might help you dear reader, because what we talk about, many other Christians also face in their every day life.

Dear friend,
You can be assured of one thing in life. If you are willing to start over and over... again and again with the Lord he will use you, shield you, protect you and guide you no matter how far off the track you might be ... he will one way or the other pull, push, plead and beg with you until he has fulfilled all his plans with you and for you. Times when it is quiet might be a good time to take time and listen and listen for the small voice from the Holy Spirit. The easiest and hardest way to find out if you have missed something, if you are not obeying his call, is to simply ask him to tell you what you might have missed or not obeyed. He must be the best to ask and trust for a clear answer one way or the other. The answer might not be what you have expected but you will get an answer. The evil one always wants us to dwell in an emotional fog and the thicker the fog the better for him. But the Lord has promised to tell the truth hasn't he, and the truth will set you free; even if the truth can be hard to face sometimes.

I can imagine how "home life" is inflicting on your spiritual life but maybe you are the only light they have? It is tiresome and a lonely part of life when the rest of the family doesn't share in the spiritual life. And I thought the other day of your situation and how hard it is to read the Bible and many other things and it isn't easy to be alone. To have support and from fellow believers can be life saving at times. So it's no wonder that you are tired; because it is a lonely place to be in.
I wonder if it is time to stop "making everybody happy" Be your heavenly Father's child in your every day life and show them what it is like to be his child and don't give in to compromises for the sake of "peace " Easy said and more difficult to do but perhaps now is the time.
So pray we will; united in faith and with trust that God has "something better" for us.
Sincerely yours,
Ida"

Powerful Women

Dear Friend,

Got this in the mail from a lady in USA. I think it says something about who you and I are … in reality … when we think of who has saved us and who helps us face each day.

Sincerely yours,

Ida

Powerful Women's Motto:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says...
"Oh shit....she's awake!!"

Flowers from God …

Dear Friend,

A pen friend from Florida, wrote in a mail:

"If we are God's children, we can see all things as coming from Him."

Several months ago I got a present from God. When I came to the office and entered my room there was a flower standing on the windowsill. I haven't had any flower there before and didn't know who put it there.
The cleaning lady came in the corridor and I asked her if she had put it there. She smiled and said yes. She had taken the top from a plant in the waiting room and re-planted it in a flower pot. I thanked her and told her it was a very nice surprise.

This doesn't sound too exciting, but it is to me. This cleaning lady had been very silent and looking down most of the time. She had done her work in a quiet way and been kind of invisible to the rest of the staff. Somebody even complained that she didn’t answer when spoken to.

I decided to greet her every morning or whenever we would meet in the corridor. Eventually she started to respond to my small talk and also made some short comments. And now I got a flower and a smile from her. What made my heart also jump with joy was that in morning when I was driving to work I said something like "… dear God, I would be grateful if you remembered me too". And so he gave me a flower and he used somebody who doesn’t even know that she is a messenger from God.

I know God likes to give flowers because it has happened before. Years ago after doing some grocery shopping I stopped by at a garden center just to walk around and look at all the beautiful flowers. I was feeling very low and it was comforting to wander around. For a moment it would take my mind off some serious problems at the time.

I ended up buying topsoil for my flowerppots and when I stood at the counter the owner put an orchid in my bag. I said:” I didn't pay for an orchid” but he answered "Today is a day for an orchid” and I left with a very beautiful flower. I cried in the car because God had shown me he cared and it was like he wanted to say “Cheer up child; it isn’t as bad as you think and I’m still in control”

So I totally agree with my friend's sentence. What was it Apostle James wrote again?

“Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows”.

James1:17

Sincerely yours,

Ida

The Believer

Dear Friend,

I was surprised when he turned up, and sat down at my kitchen table and demanded to tell his story

- I was born in the Jewish orthodox region within Galilee. My family was an ordinary Jewish family with an ordinary life but it also included the passion for the teachings of the Torah. Living and obeying the Torah had always been vital to our family and the Torah was The Key to our survival. If we lost the Torah we would loose everything.

My parents sent met to the local synagogue when I was six and the local Rabbi started my journey through the Torah by introducing me to the first level of learning called “The house of the book”. We had to memorize bit by bit of the Torah and by the age of ten I had memorized all Chumash; what you call in your Bible the five books of Moses.

At the age of ten the Rabbi also decided who would move on to the next level or stop the education and stay home from then on.

Between the age of ten and fourteen you entered into “The house of Learning” if the Rabbi thought you had what it took to study on the next level. I was happy to be chosen and now the really interesting and hard part of learning started. The Rabbis were not really interested in our answers to their questions, but they introduced us to “The art of Questions” and our questions showed how much we had understood of the Rabbis teachings. The questions drove us into even more complicated questions and so we went on digging deeper and deeper into the soil of the Torah.

When I was fourteen the crucial turning point in my life came. The next level for a Torah student would be “The house of Studying”. To be accepted into “The house of Studying” and becoming a Rabbi’s disciple was the highest calling a person could have. The disciple was not only going to know what the Rabbi knew but was expected to be just like the Rabbi in every way.

I was presented to a Rabbi and I was supposed to say to him “I want to become your disciple. May I follow you? And the Rabbi was supposed to answer “Follow me”.

But this Rabbi said:

- I’m sorry my son but the time has come for you to take up the trade of your father’s business. My pounding heart stopped. I was devastated. I knew that sometime my questions had revealed my slow thinking and this Rabbi didn’t think I had what was expected to be able to follow him. I was going home.

I had prepared myself to leave everything behind and follow my new Rabbi. I had thought of the days when I would brush of the dust from my Rabbis feet after a long day of walking in his tracks; feeling all the blessings I would have received from him. But none of it would ever happen.

So my days turned into fishing with my father and siblings, while my thoughts were on the Torah. I turned into a secluded and silent man and was not noticed for anything heroic other than standing the smell of fish and scraping fish scales from my hands every day. The synagogue was still the center of our family’s life but the questions were not asked anymore. Deeply disappointed I had locked the door and thrown away the key to that part of my life.

- Are you listening?

I had to admit that all the information about his studies of the Torah was new to me and I wondered where he was going with it.

He continued

- I was well over twenty when I heard some rumors of a Rabbi that was coming to our part of Galilee. His name was Yeshua and his family lived in Nazareth so he was pretty much a neighbor. The rumors went from “He’s the Messiah” to “He’s a troublemaker like all the others”. Well, “all the others” had been men causing uproar against the oppressors and occupants of our country; and for a short time they stirred up the people before they were killed and gone.

Yeshua looked like any ordinary Jewish man from that region; had nothing special in his appearance to make you turn your head, but when he talked something strange happened. Something touched my heart and everything I had memorized as a child came alive in me. It was like when you take a stick and poke around in a fading fire and suddenly it starts to glow and burn again. What had been hidden for so long came alive again. I was drawn to this man and his teaching but for me it was back to the fishing boat and my every day life no matter how hard I wanted to stay and listen. When I turned to go I heard behind my back a call: “Follow me”. I looked around and assumed it was addressed to somebody else in the crowd around me, but they had all stopped and looked at me. I turned and I was face to face with Yeshua with his eyes fixed on me.

-Follow me, he said and there was no doubt about that he meant me.

A Rabbi calling me to follow him and I hadn’t even asked for it! I knew that in that moment my decision would seal my destiny forever.

So you could say I was finally accepted into the next level; and I became a disciple of Yeshua. I soon realized that this man was no ordinary Rabbi; in fact he started to puzzle me more and more and I knew he had challenged my way of thinking from day one. I don’t need to tell you all about what we went through by following Him those years; all the miracles, all the debating with the scholars and learned; all the persecution and dangerous situations and I was in the middle of it all! I walked in my Rabbis footsteps and collected his dust and his blessings every day. Most of all my heart was filled by his living words and his ever lasting love for the Father as he called our God Almighty. The distance to God that I had felt before turned into a relationship in my heart with the Most High.

I had a habit as a child to ask straight questions about what I didn’t understand and never could understand why people thought it was better to shut up and wait for somebody else to make a fool of themselves. I believed in honesty even if it had to be just a dumb question. It wasn’t easy to understand Yeshua but slowly it dawned to all of us that the Messiah had come. Can you imagine what it was like? The long foresaid Messiah was sitting in our midst of simple men and opened the Scriptures to us. He was the living Torah before our own eyes and I thought to myself “I could die together with this man”. You know …. His way with us; his talmidim; … we never knew what his next move would be. When we thought everything was in control and it was peace and quiet for a while the next challenge came. He had compassion and mercy for us all and he loved us. And we loved him. The only time he showed any irritation was when we had doubts; not about him, but about ourselves. He said we were called to greatness and he reminded us that he had chosen us and we had not chosen him. I don’t know how many times I heard “Don’t be afraid” during those years.

Then that evening came in the upper room; and it was our last Passover meal together with him. Yeshua was troubled in his heart that night and he talked a lot about going away and we all became downhearted. There were whispers among the others and questions about what he actually had said. Following my habit I called out to Yeshua

- "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?"

- I’m the way, the truth, the life, he answered.

And I remembered my childhood and my Rabbis teaching “Children the Torah will show you the way. It will show you the truth and it will be your whole life.”

A shadow fell over my visitors face as he continued in a low voice:

- We had got the highest calling and we all failed that night; one way or the other. Most of us ran away haunted by guilt and fear. Because deep down we had hoped it would be another way. Yeshua told us many times that he must die but we thought, not now; some day way ahead; but not now.

What would become of us? Where would we go? What could we do after three years of heaven on earth? I couldn’t bring myself to watch the agony and pain on Golgotha.

-Have you ever loved?

The question surprised me and I looked into his sad eyes.

- Have you ever felt a loss so deep that you cannot breathe; that you cannot move; that you cannot be part of anything else but your own pain?

- Have you ever experienced that the foundation under your feet crack like eggshells and you tumble down into a depth that you didn’t know existed? I had lost the Living Torah. I had lost everything.

I wasn’t sure about my answer to that and hesitated and now tears slowly filled his eyes and he trembled as he continued with more strength in his voice:

- Don’t you think I loved my Rabbi? Don’t you think I cried to the sky and screamed in agony over my failure to stand with him till the end?

And so I walked away from Jerusalem, from my friends for the past three years and from my dreams of the Messiah. But after a week they eventually found me and persuaded me to join them. They had tremendous news they said. Yeshua was back. Mary had talked with him; Peter and John had seen the empty grave; he had even stood among them without open the door before entering the room. They were all so happy and exited and all I could think of was yet another stirring up of feelings and wishful thinking.

I told them straight from my heart what I thought of it and also told them that if I didn’t personally see and touch his wounds in his hands and in his side it would not be my Yeshua; not my Rabbi. I knew Yeshua well and he knew me well and if there were any signs more true to his identity it would be his wounds. I didn’t care about if he could walk through all the stone walls in the world; if he could be in more than one place at the same time; if he told me ten thousand times that he was the real thing; without the wounds it would not be my Messiah.

- Do you ever look for the real Yeshua?

I honestly told him I knew only one, and I call him Jesus, Son of God, my Savior.

- You are blessed you know. Yeshua told me about it. You have never seen him in person and yet you believe and are blessed in your faith. Aren’t you?

We were gathered together in a house in Jerusalem when Yeshua came and stood in our midst and greeted us. “Peace with you” he said and peace really literally entered the room and he lit up the whole room with his presence.

Yeshua stood in front of me and raised his hands and said “Put your finger here” and he gently pulled his robe to the side; “Put your hand into my side and now; let go of your doubts”

And he simply stated the fact “because you have seen me you believe; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed”.

He included you, you know, in that sentence.

I know you love to preach that Yeshua rebuked me with those words and my name has been used innumerous times as an example of a “bonehead” that refused to agree with the testimony that Yeshua was alive. But here me now and forever: Yeshua never rebuked me once but encouraged me to follow him; to live my potential; to be like my Rabbi because he had chosen me and believed in me.

I saw him ascend to heaven. And when the day of Pentecost came we were all together in a place where the Holy Spirit came as tongues of fire upon us. The wind that came and filled the whole house surrounded us and in all the excitement we started to pray in languages we had never learned in a natural way. It was the beginning to even another next level.

- Sir, there are stories about you and some call them legends but what really

happened to you?

- All of us were sent by the Holy Spirit to preach the Good News. Some of us didn’t go far and soon were killed by the authorities, but later I managed through the calling of the Holy Spirit to get on a boat that sailed for India. I know of the speculations and questions but really that is of no interest. What I want you to understand is that no matter if people say you are not good enough for whatever reason; you are always good enough for Yeshua. He chose me and asked me to follow him and I did till the day a spear was thrusted throw my chest and my days on this earth was ended. And also remember; in this world with so many self-appointed Messiahs; you have to look for the real Living Torah, the Messiah with the wounds who gave his life as a ransom for mankind and who lives in all who choose to follow him.

It was quiet in my kitchen. We didn’t say anything for a while and so he made a move to rise and go.

- Sorry, I never introduced myself properly. I’m Thomas, the Believer. Nice to meet you. Can we agree on that that is my name?

- Yes Sir; we can agree on that.

Sincerely Yours,

Ida